Guess Who's Not Coming to Dinner?
by Jadeaffection
Summary: It's Thanksgiving and there seems to be a little problem with who's invited. Or rather, who isn't. Gabriel/Lucifer, Past Gabriel/Sam & Kali, Dean/Castiel, Sam/Sarah. Sexual references, fluff, crack and minor cursing. Spoilers up to Season 5 finale.


**Title: **Guess Who's Not Coming to Dinner?  
><strong>Fandom: <strong>Supernatural  
><strong>CharactersPairing: **Gabriel/Lucifer, Mentioned Dean/Cas & Sam/Sarah and Past-Sam/Gabriel & Gabriel/Kali  
><strong>Rating: <strong>Teen/ PG-13+  
><strong>Warnings: <strong>Minor crack, Gabriel ranting, Minor course language, sexual references and holiday-extended-family-fluff.  
><strong>Genre: <strong>Humour/Romance  
><strong>Spoilers: <strong>Anything up to (and including) 5.19 is fair game. Major finale spoiler from Season 5. After that I made up my own stuff.  
><strong>Length: <strong>972

**Summary: **It's Thanksgiving and there seems to be a little problem with who's invited. Or rather, who isn't.

**A/N: **OMFG, I wrote Gabriel/Lucifer... O_o ... *is a little disturbed by herself*  
>But I did it for a good cause...<br>Happy Birthday Cashay! I hope you enjoy it... you said crack was OK so I kind of went to town.

'I will not have that woman in this house! And that's final!'

Gabriel would never say it out loud but Lucifer was adorable all jealous and indignant.

'C'mon Baby', Gabriel wheedled. 'Don't be like that. It's _Thanksgiving_! And besides, can you imagine the wrath if she was the only one not invited. Hell has no fury like a woman scorned and all that. You're being unreasonable.'

Okay, so maybe Gabriel enjoyed pushing Lucifer's buttons a little too much for his own good but it really was far too much fun.

And Lucifer's smiting face was _hot_!

'Unreasonable? I'm being unreasonable? I'm letting you have your unusually strong bond with that human mountain you used to fornicate with. If it weren't for that ridiculous face you make when you're upset and the fact that little Castiel had chosen the abomination's brother as a mate, I would have ended Sam Winchester years ago. He is lucky to be breathing. I think it is a fine example of just how reasonable I am that his is the first name on our invite list.'

Fun was all well and good but threatening his Sammy was taking it too far. Gabriel put on his serious business face.

'I will say this only once so listen carefully you arrogant, pain in my ass, who is the _only_ one I want to be with. Sam as a romantic interest is so far in my past I couldn't see him that way again even if I used the Hubble telescope. Yes, he's my best friend. Yes, he is someone I couldn't exist without. And yes, we used to have enthusiastic bendy sex. But that was over a year before you got out of the pit. Before you decided to become my mate. And, as my mate, you are the only one I ever want to have sex with ever again. Enthusiastic and bendy or otherwise.'

Gabriel paused to take a breath and give Lucifer a significant look, letting his mate know that he should strap himself in as the shorter archangel wasn't near done and this shit was about to get real.

'Do not ask me to choose between you because you will not like my answer. Despite his misgivings about you and his concerns for me, Sammy would never ask. Sam and Sarah have a futon and they will put me up for however long it takes for you to come crawling back. And you will. Because I'm just that awesome. And if you don't realize it, then that's your own stubborn fault. Sam is important to me. You don't just pull someone out of hell and then never talk to them again. I mean look at Dumb and Dumber. Their epic romance is part mutual stupidity, part profound bond. It's intense. Sam bears my mark and is my charge. And there might have been that period of misdirected gratefulness, closeness and physical chemistry. But _you_ are the one I'm in love with, you moron!'

Lucifer's smile was blinding and Gabriel was suddenly reminded of just how beautiful the Morningstar was before the fall.

'Your buttons are just as easy to push as mine brother.' Lucifer's voice was light and teasing and Gabriel could have groaned at his own stupidity. He'd walked right into that one.

But he'd be damned if he'd let Lucifer get the upper hand. Or, you know, _realize_ he'd gotten the better of the former trickster. Time to spin this back to his advantage.

'Aw Honey! If you were feeling unloved and wanted to be validated all you had to do was ask. I'm always ready to stroke your ego, among other things. Do you want to paint our nails and talk about our feelings?'

Lucifer was going to growl at him. He could tell. That was definitely Lucifer's growl-y face. Unsurprisingly, he was often the source of question-my-manly-awesomeness-growl-like-face-making things.

What could he say? Fish got to swim and all that.

Deciding to be magnanimous for a change, Gabriel was across the room before Lucifer could even get to the pout part of his pique. Climbing Lucifer like a tree (not a Sam-sized tree but a tree nonetheless), Gabriel wrapped himself around the other archangel and proceeded to kiss the scowl off his face.

Gabriel was an expert at this part of proceeding. He'd had practice. Lots of practice. There was that time with the three tons of Jell-O, the marmoset and the badminton racquet. It was… well, that's another story really. Needless to say, Lucifer was _not_ pleased. And their Persian rug had never been the same since.

Gabriel might as well have a degree in smoothing ruffled feathers. Figuratively and literally. Wings are affected by an angel's mood, don't you know.

After a few minutes of thorough I-love-you-you-moron-get-over-it kissing on Gabriel's part, Lucifer softened and Gabriel could feel him smiling into the kiss.

Leaning back enough to look his mate in the eye, Gabriel still had a mission to complete and no amount of bedroom eyes from Lucifer was going to sway him from his task.

'Sooooo, we were talking about a guest list?'

Lucifer groaned, rather insultingly long-sufferingly Gabriel thought, and unceremoniously dropped God's messenger on his butt.

'I will NOT have that woman in this house! She's a heathen and you become inappropriate in her presence.'

'But Kali makes the best fudge! I promise I won't grab her ass this time. Or threaten to smite Crowley for flirting with her. Please Snookums? Pretty, pretty please?'

Rolling his eyes and sighing, Lucifer gave his "I'm surrendering to you childish whims despite my better judgment" shrug and made his way towards their bedroom.

Gabriel might have smirked as he made to follow but he admits to nothing. Although he will have to send Sammy a present. Those puppy-eyes he taught him are priceless!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Supernatural and I make no money from these stories. Probably for the best!


End file.
